The Blue Fairy Interview

[Philip Copeman]

Philip Copeman, The Blue Fairy Interview with Atheist Alive Magazine

AA: Philip, Welcome to Athiests Alive and thank you for your time. A lot of our readers are eager to know why it is that you are not atheist?

PC: I believe in the Blue Fairy, blessed be her name.

AA: Why do you believe in the blue fairy?

PC: Its obvious the sky is Blue, she created the sky in her own image. In the mornings, when I look up, I can often see her bathing. She loves the sky, I love the sky and when I see her beauty of the world, I know that she loves me.

AA: Hold on, Issac Newton proved in 1650 that the sky is blue because of the diffraction of light.

PC: That is absolute codswallop. Do you think that something as beautiful as the sky could just exist on its own by the bending of light? What about the clouds and the wind, do you think that just came about all on its own? The sky is blue because it is the garden of the Blue Fairy.

AA: But nobody has seen the blue fairy.

PC: Speak for yourself. Anyway she chooses to whom she decides to reveal herself. The Blue Fairy, blessed be her name, often flies naked through the sky. Is it a surprise that She would only wnagt to share her privacy with the faithful? Would you want her to reveal herself in full nakedness to everyone? Please, she is the most beautiful creature alive why should she want to do that?

AA: You mean all I have to do to see the blue fairy is look up in the sky in the morning?

PC: No that is strictly forbidden. Only the faithful are allowed to look up. All non believers are infidel and must walk with their heads bowed. It is the duty of every believer to stone any infidel caught compromising the Blue Fairy, blessed be her name. We are a tolerant religion, we are happy to live in peace with others, we ask only that you bow your head when walking in the morning sun. Anyone who is prepared to give up 10% of his revenue to the church, open his heart and learn our ways can embrace the love of the Blue Fairy, blessed be her name. Even women can enjoy the afternoon sun. It is a small thing to  ask that no women, even wives of believers are allowed out of the house until 12.00. I am sure that you can understand this.

AA: Is this not the act of a jealous misogynist God?

PC: The Blue Fairy, blessed be her name, is a God but she is also a woman. What woman would want to share herself openly with everyone? Our Women are happy enough to wear long blue dresses. They feel better about it, for what woman would want to compete with the Blue Fairy. So its a win win all round. The Blue Fairy, blessed be her name, is more than generous. She gives us all the land, the land is green and brown right. She asks only for the sky which she made blue, and even then her generosity is such as to  allow women to walk around in the afternoons.

AA: The recent attacks that have been occurring at shops selling denim are these carried out by your priests?

PC: We take no responsibility for these, but you must concede that these people have been warned. These are the actions of young zealots. We teach our children compassion and love for their fellow Blues. Any person who embraces our faith will share the full benefits of our security. Non believers can choose any color of clothing that they like. We ask the small thing that blue is reserved fro the believers. Why do these heathen  choose to make blue denim when we have made it abundantly clear to them that blue is the only color which the Blue Fairy covets. They have the whole rainbow to themselves and they choose to attack and insult the Blue Fairy, blessed be her name.

AA: Philip how can you not allow us to wear blue, is that not unreasonable?

PC: The worlds is divided into two types of people. Those that live on the dirty ground and those that live in the clean blue the sky created by the blue fairy. This is not my opinion, this is the decree of the Blue Fairy, blessed be her name. My opinion doesn't count. The only opinion that counts is the Blue Fairy, blessed be her name, and she has spoken by creating the sky.

AA: We have already established that the blue sky is caused by diffraction

PC: Have you no shame? How can you sit there an insult me? I have tolerated your ignorance and blasphemy for as long as I can. This interview is over.